Tag Archives: cleaning

day fifty one

30 Sep

1. secret

i can’t say just yet. but i’m very grateful.

2. cleaning

i’ve been pretending i’ve been on vacation the whole time my sister-in-law has been here (on vacation) and so, consequently, haven’t been cleaning or doing anything all week (i’m not entirely sure why i do that). and you could tell by the kitchen. the dishes were bad. so, finally, today i cleaned. i’m grateful for a clean house – and i’m grateful for me cleaning!

3. sleep

i’m so tired. i’m just so grateful for my comfy bed and wonderful blankies and warm hubby. and sleeping in.

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day forty five

24 Sep

1. managed to clean the house before sister-in-law arrived

and believe me, i was cutting it pretty close. and don’t get me wrong, the house wasn’t all that bad, and to be honest, she probably wouldn’t have noticed, but i would have. and i care. so, while my husband went to the airport to get her, i managed to vacuum the whole apartment, scrub the kitchen floor, do the dishes, organize everything, and take a shower and get myself all ready. yes, i am amazing.

and yes, i also could have done it the day before. but i didn’t want to!

2. feeling comfortable with my sister-in-law

i’m sort of a freak, especially when it comes to people. i get really anxious and think that most people hate me. especially if they are important to me (like in-laws). i mean like really crazy, like panic attacks and babbling. and usually, once i’m in bed at night, alone, or with my husband, i cry because i am so embarrassed and at the same time, so worried about how i seemed in front of people. it’s very overwhelming.

but, today i felt pretty good. no panic attacks. only a little bit nervous, and we seemed to be okay. i’m now lying in bed, and i don’t even feel the need to painstakingly analyze every little thing i said and did.

i feel that for me, today was a great success in terms of my own personal crazy.

3. package!

my aunt sent me a care package today – or, i got it today and i LOVE me some care packages. it had some knitting goodies, my favorite lotion that i can’t get here, some burt’s bees tinted chapstick and some other fun stuff. very exciting, and very thankful.

day thirty two

11 Sep

this might actually be what i look like when cleaning... dopey smile and all...

1. cleaning

i’m not a dirty person at all, but sometimes (like today), i wake up and it seems like suddenly the house is a mess: the floors are dusty and have a whole lot of what seems to be my hair in the corners and on the rugs (i seriously don’t know how it is that i lose that much hair every day and still have any left over), there are days’ worth of dishes in the sink and a sort of sticky mess (from peanut butter and honey sandwiches) on the coffee table. worse, it’s organizational too. the desk cabinet is wide open and papers are flung about in “piles” on the desk and i’ve very obviously just been searching through all my big accordion file searching for my passport, visa and tax id number for my new job.

okay, that last one doesn’t happen every day, but it was like that today. usually i’m on top of things. after all, i don’t have a job. but i seem to have been really busy lately, or something. i haven’t got a lot done that i wanted to.

i also usually don’t like cleaning on the weekends. james is lovely and helps, but i just don’t like cleaning when he’s around. i never have. my favorite thing was when my roommates would go out of town or something and i could clean at 2 in the morning without them either being woken up or thinking i was crazy. there’s something about cleaning that really clears my mind. part of it, of course, is that when it’s cluttered around me, my head feels cluttered as well (which is never good) and i start to feel overwhelmed and out of control (which i feel enough as it is anyway).

but a big part of it is the act of cleaning. something about the solitary silence and the fact that i don’t have to think about what i’m doing. i can just do. and be blank.

i don’t give myself enough time to be blank. i give myself plenty of time to think, but that’s not always what i need. so, today, i was grateful for cleaning the house and the opportunity it gave me of being blank for a few hours.

(it should be noted that this is not a photo what we ordered. even my husband couldn't eat all that.)

2. delivery sushi

i know back in the us it isn’t so impressive, because they have a delivery service for everything (even weed if you’re in san francisco), but in spain they only had one company that delivered pizza. okay, i’m not entirely sure that’s a fact, because i know they also had pizza hut, but i don’t think i could bring myself to eat pizza hut on purpose. i don’t know where it comes from but on the pizza delivery scale, starting OBVIOUSLY with round table, pizza hut would come last for me.

but anyway, we’re not talking about pizza here. though they deliver that here in germany as well. but they also deliver chinese and thai and all sorts of foods that you want on a rainy sunday after you’ve cleaned the house and don’t really feel like going outside or making anything that would mess up your freshly-cleaned kitchen. and, as it turns out, they deliver sushi too. and it is really freakin’ good.

as my husband said, “uh-oh. is this amazing or this very, very dangerous?”

3. olive oil hair masque

i’ve talked about it before, i’ve even told other people that it’s a great idea. but i’ve never done it. and why would i? i worked at an aveda salon for years and then i lived in the most humid place ever (i’m not entirely sure that’s true either, but it seems true). but now i’m living in a dry place again and i’ve been told that they have pretty hard water and that can have some bad effects on your hair.

whatever the reasons, all i know is that my hair has become less curly and frizzy and it feels dry and brittle and i am NOT okay with that.

i will never forget the first time i read little women and discovered that jo had sold her hair and it was all chopped short. she broke down crying, i broke down crying and then amy, her younger sister, said the words that would stick with me forever: “oh jo, your one true beauty”. that’s it, that’s what my hair is. in my complete and total mania, insanity and insecurity, my hair and my feet are the only things i’m truly confident of all the time. the other features, they have their moments, but my hair and my feet, i’m always happy with.

so, getting back to the point. my hair has been shit lately. seriously. so today, i mixed a little geranium oil and some gardenia oil into some olive oil and let it sit for half the day (while i was cleaning) and then applied it and let it sit on my hair and scalp for about thirty minutes and now my hair feels curlier and shinier.

we’ll see how it holds up. this might have to become a sunday ritual.