Tag Archives: family

day forty seven

26 Sep

1. confident moments

walking to work today, i was struck by a realization that i’d been working up to lately and for that brief period, i was so happy. i was feeling so strong in who i was, and so sure of myself. i felt connected to my body and to my life in a way that i, sadly, don’t normally.

it was a warm evening, and i was wearing great shoes and my life in general is at such a positive place now. i still have issues, and oddly enough, i feel like i’m gaining weight, which is something that always makes me feel less confident, but for that moment today, it didn’t matter. in that moment, i was more than my body and there were way more important things in my life than whether or not i should go on a diet.

it was really nice.

2. everyone at work has greeted me BY NAME

i feel like such a jerk – i barely recognize these people, and they are so sweet and always refer to me by my name, asking me how my day is. and i don’t remember any of them! but what a lovely thing – to start a new job in a new country and have your coworkers be so nice. i’m very grateful for them.

3. my husband and future family

i realize over and over, especially when i’m talking with his younger siblings, what an amazing father and daddy my husband will be some day to our future kids, and i’m so grateful.

 

day forty four

23 Sep

1. lunch

today was sort of an emotional day. i’ve been really tired and i’ve also been expecting a lot of myself lately, which always leads me to be quite judgmental (which is a fun cycle, let me tell you). so, after a tear-filled therapy session, where we discussed what to do about this expecting a lot/judging myself harshly cycle, i left with homework. my homework was to check in with myself once or twice a day and to just feel what i was feeling (i tend to be up in my head a lot – that’s where all the “shoulds” and “should haves” live, after all) and to do exactly what i wanted.

so, what did i want? i wanted to eat apple pie and hot chocolate (soy) for lunch. and i did. and it was yummy. and i ate the whole thing without thinking once of the calories.

(of course, i thought of the calories after, but hey, baby steps…)

2. lucky in love

i may have a hard time of it in some ways, but i’ve been blessed in one particularly important area of my life. today, i was reading the woodlanders by thomas hardy (who i’m also so so grateful for) and i was at this part where grace and giles are confessing their love to each other, only giles knows that it is never to be, and they embrace and kiss, their first kiss.

it suddenly, intensely brought back the memory of my first kiss with my husband and i could see his face as if it were in front of me still and feel his hand on my cheek and then it was as if our life together flashed before my eyes in a second and i literally started crying (partially because the book was really emotional, and that’s what i do: i cry at books) and felt such an overwhelming love for him and for my life. i’m so grateful to be able to feel that.

3. sister-in-law visiting

yay, more family visits! my sister-in-law comes tomorrow and she’s staying a whole week.

unfortunately, my husband has to work most of the week, which sort of makes me a little nervous as i don’t really know his sister really well, but also gives me the opportunity to get to know her better, and i’m grateful for that.

and, as always, very grateful that he and i both have such wonderful family that love us and visit us!