Tag Archives: grateful

wow. way worse than last time.

10 May

this time, i’m putting no pressure on myself to do this every day. just when i’m feeling it. i think pressure is part of my problem.

1. compression stockings

yeah, they’re pretty sweet, and i do feel like a grandma. but, my feet are so swollen and miserable unless i wear these bad boys all day, that i can’t help but love them and feel grateful for them. i’ve tried putting my feet up, i’ve tried massaging them (or having my husband massage them), i’ve got multiple types of pregnancy and stinging nettle teas… nothing works except these compression stockings.

funnily enough, assuming summer was coming, as it was gorgeous that week, i got the toe-less version so i could wear them with my flip-flops (which let me tell you, looks amazing), and of course, the day i got them, it started raining and hasn’t really stopped…

but i still wear them and i still wear them with my flip-flops. just around the house. and really, i probably wouldn’t even be able to wear any of my other shoes without them, so…

2. healthy, happy baby boy

okay, no, that isn’t actually a picture of the boy, but he’s in there. and you can DEFINITELY see him…

but he’s doing well, he’s already turned head down and he’s ready to go at any moment. though we are hoping that he waits for my mom to get here and you know, for us to get his mattress, diapers and a few other important things like that…

every day i feel him moving, kicking and getting the hiccups and i’m so grateful and so happy, not only with him but with where i am in my life and the future that my husband, the baby and i are creating together. i wouldn’t have it any other way.

3. birds singing

i have a yard. and windows everywhere. and sun roofs. and a big, light, airy house from which i can hear the birds singing all day long (out of my multitudes of windows). i can listen to the birds and look out the window or even go outside in my bare feet and not have to walk down stairs or cross anyone else’s apartment and stand in my grass and look at the sun or feel the rain (more likely here) and listen to the birds and it’s just wonderful.

though we still want for things and there are still cans of paint and a ladder sitting in the living room and our guest room is basically where we store all our thousands (seriously) of cardboard boxes, i am so happy to wake up here and to move about our house, listening to the birds and thinking about our little boy being with me soon and what he’ll hear in the birds’ song and how glorious it’ll be to go outside with him and put our feet in the grass beside our very own garden.

and i’m so grateful to my husband for giving me all the things that he can.

day twelve

23 Aug

1. falafel vendors with attitude

it’s been awhile since i’ve gotten a falafel (since i lived in barcelona, in fact) and i was quite disappointed to learn that our local shwarma restaurant doesn’t carry falafel. this evening though, we were in cologne watching the man u – tottenham game at the corkonian (sort of over football season already) and next door is a falafel shop (i suppose they are normally called kebob shops). so, at half time, daniel and i went over and got a falafel for myself, one for james and a currywurst for daniel. this was the first time i’ve attempted to fully order in german and the guy, instead of rolling his eyes at me as he should have, made fun of me, asking me questions and making cheeky little comments. my only regret is that when he asked me where i was from, i didn’t answer him in a full sentence: ich komme aus den usa.

2. showing off my walk

i know it seems silly, since it isn’t all that fancy or impressive, but i was kind of excited to show off where i walk today to daniel. he didn’t much care, and in fact was slightly annoyed at me for taking him “the long way” home, but as there isn’t much going on in my life and the biggest thing getting me out of the house is my walk, it was nice to actually show it to someone other than james.

3. sleeping in

i know i can sleep in any day of the week, really. but usually i try and set my alarm and tell myself i’ve got to get up by a certain time, whether i do anything or not. it just doesn’t seem right to sleep in every day. and i’m glad i don’t because if i did, it wouldn’t be so nice on the days when i let myself sleep in to ten o’clock, like i did today. and it was fantastic.

 

day eleven*

22 Aug

*posted one day late, because i forgot (after less than two weeks – not a good sign).

to be honest, yesterday wasn’t a very good day. i didn’t feel (and didn’t act) very grateful. but, still left the house and did things, which i am happy about.

1. catching a glimpse in the mirror that’s good

normally, i feel overweight to the point of being disgusted in myself (which, frankly, is too harsh and i need to stop being so judgmental) but every now and then, i catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror when i’m changing and think i look good. if i stop and analyze, then i lose it and start feeling bad again. but for that moment, i feel good about myself, which is nice.

2. my mom is ok after surgery

even though hernia operations are relatively commonplace now, i’m very grateful that my mom made it through ok and is recovering happily (well, normally at least) with her mom visiting to care for her. i wasn’t worried, but it’s a bit hard being so far away for things like that. i wish i were there to take care of her and take rocky to dog beach so she knew he was happy, as i’m sure that is a big part of what she would be worried about.

3. books that keep me up at night

the book i’m reading is really good and quite sad (the sixth lamentation by william broderick). i’ve wanted to stay up all night reading it and though i love books that make me want to do that, what i love even more is when i’m forced not to finish them in one weekend. daniel is here, so we’re doing things throughout the day and evening and otherwise, i’d be finished with it already – i’d be skimming through the end just desperately trying to finish it (for whatever reason that happens) but instead, i’m forced to savor it and i definitely appreciate that.