Tag Archives: sister-in-law

day forty five

24 Sep

1. managed to clean the house before sister-in-law arrived

and believe me, i was cutting it pretty close. and don’t get me wrong, the house wasn’t all that bad, and to be honest, she probably wouldn’t have noticed, but i would have. and i care. so, while my husband went to the airport to get her, i managed to vacuum the whole apartment, scrub the kitchen floor, do the dishes, organize everything, and take a shower and get myself all ready. yes, i am amazing.

and yes, i also could have done it the day before. but i didn’t want to!

2. feeling comfortable with my sister-in-law

i’m sort of a freak, especially when it comes to people. i get really anxious and think that most people hate me. especially if they are important to me (like in-laws). i mean like really crazy, like panic attacks and babbling. and usually, once i’m in bed at night, alone, or with my husband, i cry because i am so embarrassed and at the same time, so worried about how i seemed in front of people. it’s very overwhelming.

but, today i felt pretty good. no panic attacks. only a little bit nervous, and we seemed to be okay. i’m now lying in bed, and i don’t even feel the need to painstakingly analyze every little thing i said and did.

i feel that for me, today was a great success in terms of my own personal crazy.

3. package!

my aunt sent me a care package today – or, i got it today and i LOVE me some care packages. it had some knitting goodies, my favorite lotion that i can’t get here, some burt’s bees tinted chapstick and some other fun stuff. very exciting, and very thankful.

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day forty four

23 Sep

1. lunch

today was sort of an emotional day. i’ve been really tired and i’ve also been expecting a lot of myself lately, which always leads me to be quite judgmental (which is a fun cycle, let me tell you). so, after a tear-filled therapy session, where we discussed what to do about this expecting a lot/judging myself harshly cycle, i left with homework. my homework was to check in with myself once or twice a day and to just feel what i was feeling (i tend to be up in my head a lot – that’s where all the “shoulds” and “should haves” live, after all) and to do exactly what i wanted.

so, what did i want? i wanted to eat apple pie and hot chocolate (soy) for lunch. and i did. and it was yummy. and i ate the whole thing without thinking once of the calories.

(of course, i thought of the calories after, but hey, baby steps…)

2. lucky in love

i may have a hard time of it in some ways, but i’ve been blessed in one particularly important area of my life. today, i was reading the woodlanders by thomas hardy (who i’m also so so grateful for) and i was at this part where grace and giles are confessing their love to each other, only giles knows that it is never to be, and they embrace and kiss, their first kiss.

it suddenly, intensely brought back the memory of my first kiss with my husband and i could see his face as if it were in front of me still and feel his hand on my cheek and then it was as if our life together flashed before my eyes in a second and i literally started crying (partially because the book was really emotional, and that’s what i do: i cry at books) and felt such an overwhelming love for him and for my life. i’m so grateful to be able to feel that.

3. sister-in-law visiting

yay, more family visits! my sister-in-law comes tomorrow and she’s staying a whole week.

unfortunately, my husband has to work most of the week, which sort of makes me a little nervous as i don’t really know his sister really well, but also gives me the opportunity to get to know her better, and i’m grateful for that.

and, as always, very grateful that he and i both have such wonderful family that love us and visit us!